Outfitlicious: red turtleneck blouse (thrifted), ripped skinny jeans (F & F) , brown caged platform pump (Carla Berotti)
I met another Filipino applicant in school. I got a chance to talk to her and she mentioned that she haven’t seen me in Filipino occasions. I plainly said that I don’t have time for that because I have a baby.
As far as I could remember, I’m not really fond of joining social occasions. Mind you, I don’t have “social phobia”. I’m just contented to be at home . But let me tell you there are people who will avoid social occasions because of insecurity, fear of being inadequate, embarrassed or negatively evaluated. Some would even experience panic attacks that leave them immobilized to the point of dysfunction. That’s true. Some of my college friends experienced that during “reporting time”. They just froze in front of us and remained speechless for almost an eternity. That is fear controlling them. I do have stage frights, panic attacks, cold hands and feet every time I’m in front of the audience but I try to convince myself that I can do it through Christ who gives me strength. Then fear started to subside as I started to open my mouth to give my speech, a lecture or in welcoming everybody for the school’s pageant show.
I got friends who are Worriers. They anticipate the worst, create grandiose images of potential tragedy, and are always hyper-vigilant for any small signs of trouble. Their favorite self-talk expression is, ‘But what if… ?’ I taught them to replace their worrier self-talk with, ‘So, what if... By “by God’s grace I can learn to handle this. I can feel anxious and still do it. I don’t like it, but I can stand it until it passes. I’ll get used to it with practice and God’s help.” Like me when fears kicked in and I wanted to run from a public speaking assignment, I always remember God’s word to Jeremiah “you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you… “ (Jeremiah 1:7-8 NLT). Instead of running from fear, choose to face it in faith; and watch how God will get you through it as He let me!
